Happy 19th!

Another year has started for me. And at the moment, I know it's time to be serious about life. I mean, hey! I'm not getting younger, far from that! This is my last year as a teenager and I want to make it count. I want to be ... more active, let's say. I want to improve some aspects in my life, personality-wise, and be a more mature person. Not the you're-mature-therefore-you're-boring type but the one with enough wisdom to face the world.

The one who:

• knows her responsibilities and knows how to deal with them.
• knows she ain't perfect and she ain't striving for it but she's trying to be the best she can be.
• loves herself but at the same time knows how to value others around her.
• believes that everything that happens has a reason and that reason is for self improvement.
• faces the challenges thrown to her by the world and answers them back with witty responses.
• takes a rest whenever she feels it's getting too much.

We can go on and on the list, but I think that would take forever! For now, then, I will just be me. I will explore myself more, taking into considerations every trivial detail about my personality. Hopefully by the end of my 19th year, I would be ready to face the real world of adults. I will be more suitable to be Me.

Nakakatuwa pala kapag nababasa mo yung mga dati mong pinagsasabi sa blog mo. Lalo na kapag nakamove-on ka na sa event na yon, tatawanan mo na lang sarili mo. Tapos naiisip isip mo na lang, 'ay ang tanga ko pala talaga noon,"

Wag ka nang mahiya. Umamin ka na kasi na nagpakatanga ka minsan sa isang bagay (madalas, tao) at minsang nagunaw (metaphorically) ang mundo mo dahil sa bagay na yon. Wala namang masama sa pag-amin e. Maganda nga yon, kahit papano alam mo na mali ka at natuto kang tanggapin na ikaw ay tao lamang, nagkakamali rin. Mas mahirap naman yata na alam mo nang mali ka, pero ayaw mo pa ring tanggapin. Ang tawag sayo non, sadyang tanga.

Ilang buwan na rin mula nang huli kong buksan itong blog na to at talagang nag-blog. English pa nga e. Nakakanosebleed, pero napakaseryoso ng huli kong post. Napakasama ng loob ko nung mga panahon na yon. Sa pagkakatanda ko, yun yung mga oras na nalaman kong naloko ako ng isang taong pinagkatiwalaan ko, at sumabay pa na naissue ako sa mga kaibigan ko na galit daw ako sa isang kaibigan namin kasi nagpaligaw sya sa ex ko (or something like that).

Ulitin ko, natatawa na lang ako ngayon. Iba na kasi, nakalipas na. Tapos na yung mga panahon na pakiramdam mo talong talo ka. Wala na yung inis at galit, o kung ano mang negatibong enerhiya na bumabalot sayo. Basta masaya ka na lang.

Okey din talaga tong mga blogsites na to, ano? Kahit papano nababalikan mo yung nakaraan, nakikita mo yung dating ikaw. Pero pare, hinay hinay lang, ha. Huwag mong hayaan na kontrolin ka ng nakaraan.

There are moments in life when you just have to accept that you've chosen the wrong move, believed in the wrong idea and loved a fake person. Those times, you might have been hurt and you might want to get even with the person, but the truth is you just want to be thankful that you've already seen the light, the conspiracy has ended or whatever you call it.

Whether we like it or not, we hate to admit that we've been wrong or that we've been too gullible and not notice such things happening under our nose. But, let's face it. We humans are uniquely imperfect and we are prone to being naive especially in the name of love (cheesy!) or when it comes to friendship, family, and (if you're such a narcissist like me) oneself.

It's no use fighting.

You'll gain nothing except hatred and heart ache, anxiety and regret. Reinforcement of negative events will arise as well. Bottom line is, it's just oh so use ... wait for it, less.

So please, stop all this nonsense already. I've had enough. I thought you ended it first time. I've forgiven you and all that. WHY BOTHER NOW?!

Last piece of advice, get a life. and this time, make sure it's your own!

Mock exams, IN YOUR FACE!

Sabi ko magbblog ako ng english. STRAIGHT english. Pero ang fail ko lang kasi alam kong may mga bagay akong hindi maeexpress pag nagenglish ako. trying hard kasi e :D anyway ...

Point1.

Kakatapos lang ng mock exams. at ang sarap sabihin, IN YOUR FACE! boket? wala lang. ang sarap ng feeling na tapos na yung exams, kahit mocks na lang yun, kahit wala naman akong mapapala kahit pumasa ako dun o hindi. kasi MOCK nga lang. MOCK. gets?

Pero ako pa rin yung tao na masyadong mataas yung standards. yung taong napakamapride pagdating sa grades. andami ko kasing inarte, dapat ganito yung grade ko, dapat ganito yung sagot ko. pakiramdam ko kasi kaya ko lahat. tapos pag anjan na, at alam kong hindi ko nameet yung standard ko, wala na. sangkatutak na defense mechanisms na gagamitin ko. Una, sasabihin ko na, "okay lang, alam ko namang ganun lang talaga e." Pangalawa, magdedeny ako na hindi ako disappointed, kunwari, "OMG! i can't believe i passed it," pero deep inside, "SHIT! ANG BOBO KO NAMAN!" Pangatlo, compensation. Yes! the best defense mechanism of all. Enough said.

Kasabawan ng psychodynamic approach :D

Point 2.

Trabaho naman haharapin ko ngayon. Trabaho, trabaho, trabaho. Goodluck sakin :D Period.

Point 3.

May problema puso ko. Kailangan ko ng gamot, yung gamot na yun andito na ... pero alam kong aalis din sya. Mapipigilan ko ba? Hindi siguro. Tapos.

Over-all:

Malapit nang magPasko. Magsaya na tayong lahat! :D

15 days to go! :)

Exploration Day, August 3

I'm way too sleepy now but I know I can't sleep without posting this blog. :) So, here we go.

Another office day for me, few files encoded, few calls answered and delicious sandwich and chips for lunch. I had a great time at the office and as I usually do, I planned to go home when the clock strikes at 3. But, I had an unexpected visitor in the office and the plan just vanished.

Julius caught my attention around 2.30pm. He was l

ooking at the door, straight to where I was sitting. I was like, "Kuya

Juls?" and based from his reaction he was thinking the same: "Jeanne?" He went inside then I gave him his merienda while he talked to Aunt Nicole. Then out of nowhere, I asked Ciela's home number, called her and we set a trio-date.

Good thing I have Mommy's bike with me. Kuya Juls took his bike, and then we went to Ciela's. After some rest, we decided to hit the road and for the record, t'was the longest cycling activity I've ever done. It was tiring, yes, but the place where we went has scenery so beautiful, you will not mind the cramps. As Kuya Juls put it, we were like some crazy foreigners admiring the tiniest bit of the place. Even Ciela loved the goats! I like the wild plants, Kuya Juls admired the vast field filled with wild grasses and pollens. Looking at that kind of view, you will think that UK is indeed a big country where in fact, it is just as big as the Philippines.

Latter ride was faster than the first. We took the same route, but for some reasons, it's just faster going back. And this time, Ciela and I enjoyed the cool breeze. Upon reaching our house, we prepared food, ate and set the computer. We watched Princess and the Frog, well, me and Ciela.

She went home after the movie, with a plan of going back tomorrow and we will be camping. :)

There we are! Me on the left side of the picture and Ciela on the right. On the first picture is the beautiful pinkish-violet flowers of the wild.